“Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father up above with whom there is no shadow of turning.” ~ James 1:17James 1:17
English: World English Bible - WEB
17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom can be no variation, nor turning shadow.
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Often suicidal as a teenager, today I’m thankful to still be here:
Fourteen…
alone in the apartment.
I sat there with the bottle of pills in my hand, I gave myself a reprieve to watch a final show before I did the do.
Coincidentally the Lifetime movie that was playing opened up with the scene of a family’s devastation as they returned home from a funeral. Their teenage daughter / granddaughter / sister / niece / cousin had committed suicide.
Some were angry (at the selfish act), some were guilty, some were confused, whatever the case, it was enough to show me the other side of the coin, the part apart from my solitary pain.
Still sobbing, I returned the pills to the medicine cabinet and sat on the floor by the side of the bed (my favorite spot for TV viewing), hugged myself and cried.
So today I’m ever so thankful to be here: a mother / daughter / aunt / cousin / sister to invite you to celebrate with me the gift of life!
Peace and Bountiful Blessings,
I can relate to that story seeing as how I have tried to commit suicide before. I was young and dumb as some would put it. I had just buried my daughter was embarrassed at her wake. By my sister telling people about how GOD doesn’t like ugly. Claiming that I slept with her boyfriend and gotten pregnant. After she had told me that she only went to the foot ball banquet with him to be with her best friend who was dating his best friend. To add insult to injury I received a phone during the wake to let me know that the brother I just meet and really started bounding with was killed. He was in one of my uncle dope houses supposedly play Russian Roulette. Everyone that knows him knows he can’t do anything with that hand. So someone just killed him but to this day I don’t know why. His best friend was accused of dumping that same sister just weeks before therefor he wasn’t with him on this day. I felt I had nothing else to live for after hearing how my child’s father wasn’t even claiming her as his. Things were really bad at that point in my life. I felt there was no reason for continuing on!
Hi Shaun,
Thanks for sharing. I do hope that you have found a reason for continuing on?
WOW, this I never knew. (But how could I?) I was sort of in a similar situation for 3 years back when I was a teenager. Its not easy. When you don’t have God in your life, and you are at your lowest, its hard to think of what there is to acutally live for. Especially at that age. Dee you have come such a long way, and you are blessed.
Hey Nichi,
I’m sooo glad you came out from under it. My situation was different. I knew God and had been baptized at age 7, however, there was the train of thought being propogated: Christians shouldn’t have issues or thoughts of suicide. If you do… then maybe you’re not a Christian… so I suffered in silence. Thank God, even with faulty doctrine, He intervened on my behalf until I was able to learn the truth!
YAY DEE
LOL… Thanks Ak!