A new year, a new opportunity €”and it’s time to evaluate previous choices and perhaps undo some of them. What boundaries will you put back into place? Not every obstacle is a negative thing, and not every go-ahead is a good thing. What do I mean by that? So glad you asked!

For your life to run smoothly, or at least have a semblance of balance, you may need to replace boundaries. Have you ever reached a stage in your life and wondered how you got there? If you think hard and honestly, you most likely can trace the disarray back to a removed boundary you thought was silly or repressive, dismissible just this once or downright crazy for your life in general. It might have been something as simple as going over the speed limit and getting that last point on your license that had it suspended. Now you’€™re faced with the dilemma of getting to work, because you, naturally, live in the boonies and your job is miles away. (It’€™s a good thing you just spent your last few dollars making sure the car was in good enough condition to pass inspection . . . or maybe not.)

I was watching an episode of Law and Order: SVU and the young lady on trial ended up there because she’d had unprotected sex with a hookup who neglected to mention that he was HIV positive because the hooker from whom he contracted the disease neglected to mention that she was HIV positive. Add to that a feeling of abandonment because he thought his mother had abandoned him, and we had a man with the nth degree of hatred for women. The young lady was in the throes of the virus, unemployed and without health insurance. Add to that an unsolved rape, and we had a young woman in need of restoration and closure.

As the trial of the young man ensued, it appeared he was going to get off. So the girl appeared in court with acid and sprayed it on his face so that he could “appear to be the monster on the outside that he was on the inside.” Meanwhile, the young man’s beloved grandfather, who raised him, was suffering from a guilty conscience because of a little lie he’d told–his grandson’s mother was in jail; she had not upped and left him.

Because of her attack with acid, the young lady found herself on trial, being questioned about her choice not to use a condom. The victim was now the accused.

The prosecutor cut away at the young woman’s righteous indignation bit by bit as she proved that the young women knew better: ads on the building near her address promoted safe sex; the bus stop where the young woman daily waited displayed such an ad; the bus itself had an ad on its side. The boundaries were clear. Yet one moment’s boundary-breaking choice on the part of both parties, and each ended up with a death sentence.

SIDEBAR: Now you know this piece did not start out as a plug for safe sex, or better yet, for abstinence, but you know the writer’s pen usually has a mind of its own. It’s easier just to submit and keep on typing!

Ultimately, the grandfather’s seemingly innocent lie, given to “protect” his grandson, did more harm than good. The choice of the grandson and the young lady to “just this once” have an unprotected encounter became a detriment to their survival. All this makes the call to be holy and to consider the body as a temple sound not so far-fetched after all, doesn’t it? How about that? Maybe God does have a clue when He sets boundaries and standards for us to live by . . . hmmm?

I don’t know about you, but since I saw that show, I’ve been doing some self-examination, and I’ve noted a few removed boundaries that made me quite miserable.

One such? “Honor thy mother and father so that thy days may be long in the land of the living.” With my mom becoming more of my child with each passing month, in my tiredness and frustration, I found myself being a bit dishonoring toward her. This left me open to remorse, guilt, and ill health, and we both ended up walking around the house being depressed and not eating or sleeping. Because I was a part of the problem, I felt unworthy to lay hands on her hurts and pray for and with her, or to quote scriptures of encouragement. I felt like a fraud.

We’ve since resolved that issue. However, I continue to examine myself and my life to ensure that boundaries I’d removed (even “small ones” like staying up late, which of course results in overeating the wrong stuff for “energy” that same night or the next day) are replaced so that I’m living a balanced and healthy life. This way, when opportunities come my way, I won’t be too depressed, tired, distracted, irritable, or burnt-out to see and address them. A new year, a new opportunity–boundaries will help us make the most it!

Here’s to a blessed year!

Peace,