Since as far back as I can remember, the lyrics and melodies of songs have floated in my head all day, every day. Today as I went about my daily tasks, three songs vied for top billing: 

- “Father Can You Hear Me,” the finale from Diary of a Mad Black Woman
- “Faithful Is our God” by Hezekiah Walker, and
- “Wonderful,” sung by Brandy, from Cinderella.

As I struggled to recall the correct lyrics and melody of “Wonderful” (“Do I want you because you’re wonderful, or are you wonderful because I want you? Is this a vision of a lover’s dream, or are you really as wonderful as you seem?”), my mind connected with the words, and I began to think, Hmmm, either I’m tired, stressed out, reaching–maybe– or that seemingly simplistic song from a Cinderella movie is kinda profound.

Please indulge me as I go line by line in search of the message that’s flitting around the edges of my consciousness:

“Do I want you because you’re wonderful?”

I mean . . . do we want people just because they’re wonderful?

Merriam Webster defines wonderful as:

1 : exciting wonder : marvelous, astonishing <a sight wonderful to behold>
2 : unusually good : admirable <did a wonderful job>

So I guess it would be safe to paraphrase wonderful as meaning “spectacular, off the charts, all that and bag of chips.” It’s safe to assume that everyone wants someone wonderful. In fact, wonderful people are not that hard to spot, because wherever they are, others are milling around competing for a bit of their time, talent, skill, personality traits, or whatever it is that makes them “wonderful.” Aside from a bit of competition here and there, how hard is it to want someone wonderful? Might we want to be associated with wonderful people because we hope some of the awe (or whatever it is that makes them awesome) rubs off on us? So then is it really want we feel, or is it admiration?

“Or are you wonderful because I want you?”

On the other hand, might the one we want be less than the aforementioned definition, yet still be perceived as wonderful because of our desire? And does that mean that if we want hard, bad, and long enough, if we have a strong desire, that we ameliorate, elevate, nullify, or ratify anything less than wonderful until it becomes so? And if that is so, does that infer that in wanting to the point of wonder, we see what is and are more accepting? Might that be a solution to our relationship problems or the basis of relationships we enter?

“Is this a vision of a lover’s dream?”

Now this is the point where we lose a lot of folk, men and women alike. We’ve received the vision. We’ve written it and made it plain, yet we somehow lose sight of it or just get tired of waiting for it to materialize in the proper timing. At that point we convince ourselves that what we see before us is the embodiment of said vision. We don’t test; we grapple and grasp and then wonder why it all turns to ashes. All because we “saw” what we wanted to see.

“Or are you really as wonderful as you seem?”

Reality–awe–perception.

Does the strength of our desire rule us? Is what we see actually the reality of what is? Or are we so in awe of the desired prize that we accept crumbs in place of bread? Have we done anything besides mooning and fantasizing to attain understanding of who it is that we want?

I’m going to cheat here. Even though the definition of want translates at best to “have a strong desire for,” I’m going to once again ask your indulgence and replace the word want with love. Does that make a difference for you? It certainly does for me. Because that switcheroo ties into what I believe about love: it is kind, patient, hopes all things, bears all things, doesn’t hold a grudge, is not envious, boastful, or rude; and it just plain never ends!

As awe-inspiring as someone might be, if they have no love in their heart, how wonderful can they really be? On the other hand, someone with love in his or her heart who does not necessarily inspire amazement, can attain the status of wonderful because of the wonder, depth, and breadth of all that love is and can be.

Well, that’s my thought-provoking thought for today.

Peace,
Dee

(Originally written 4/12/08, edited 6/1/10)