Shoutout to my Shero…you know who you are!

For some of us, the words “lean on me” is a last resort. It means we’ve exhausted all our financial, physical, and emotional resources and now have to step outside ourselves to ask for help. There is truth in the fact that our physical strength is determined by how many miles we can run, how high we can climb or how how hefty the load we can carry.

There is also truth in the fact that as we go through the different stages of life from childhood to adulthood, through the yeses and nos, the triumphs and failures we gain mental and emotional strength.

There is also truth in fact that while many of us acknowledge that we know there is a God and even that we believe in God or even that we say we have a relationship with God…we always seem to leave the option to…Lean on Him…in prayer, in meditation…in supplication…as a very last resort.  All He’s ever wanted for us to do is Lean on Him. Our strength is perfected…in Him.  Even the strongest of us have weak moments and that’s ok…that’s when He gives you His to keep on going, all you have to do is ask.  He divinely places people around you to support you, ask Him to show you who they are as you listen to this song.

God Bless,

Hi Folks,

Sorry for the delay in posting and notification.  Every year around this time I try to be superwoman and I volunteer for too many things and each year I say, I’m going to write myself a note for next year to remind myself that this is really ridiculous, and that I should practice saying, “No.”

Obviously, I didn’t get my own memo.  LOL.

Anyway, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…who won the prize in the giveaway?

None other than:

Please join me in congratulating Janelle! An email has been sent to her and she has 48 hours in which to respond before I have to choose another winner.

Blessings,

ATTENTION! Please read the rules before entering the giveaway.  Thanks!

Hi Folks,

The moment we’ve all been waiting for is here! Over 300 blogs thanking their followers for their loyalty and participation over the past year. Another year has gone by so quickly I can hardly believe it and here once again is the Gratitude Giveaway Hop hosted by I Am a Reader, Not a Writer and All Consuming Books.

Ordinarily, I’m not down with the “you must be a follower to participate” prerequisite because I figure folks will just be following for my stuff. But since this giveaway is to thank all those who have followed me as I whined, rambled, celebrated and/or cried…here’s to you!

Up for  grabs in this International giveaway is a  $10 gift certificate to Amazon, Barnes and Noble or Book Depository plus an ebook copy (PDF, ePub or Mobi) of Age is Just a Number!

About the Book:

Age is Just a Number: Adventures in Online Dating by D.S. White

MEET DIVINE: female, thirty-seven, slaphappy, young at heart, self-employed; an online newbie, living in New York. She is fresh out of a long-term relationship and has completed the two-year mandatory wound-licking I-hate-men mourning period. Unfortunately for Divine, someone neglected to inform her that dating has been upgraded to new millennium level. But maybe she shouldn’t worry … hemlines aren’t the only things that have gone up. Thirty-somethings are premium dating material now … at least for the twenty-year-olds … Divine’s experiences are the basis for the serial memoir I call Age Is Just a Number, a lens through which to view the world of online dating.

Giveaway rules:

You must have been a follower before the giveaway began at 12:01 AM EST. That is my only prerequisite—well, that, and indicating your participation in the comments section. I’ve found a fabulous little plugin that will help me choose a winner so no Google entry forms this year.

• Comment including your name, email address and website (if you’ve got one)
• Include mention of which way you follow:
• Feedburner (email or feed) or
• Google Friend Connect (GFC) or
• Like my Facebook (FB) page, then
• Click on the linky to visit another site!

That’s all there is to it. Here’s to another great year!

Peace,

P.S. I’m participating with 4 of my blogs. These are the names and links so please check them out in the linky below (#110 – #113):

• Age is Just a Number – Online dating, relationships, articles
• At the Water Cooler – Marketing and Promotional blog about all things literary.
• Dee411 – Resourceful and encouraging site for abuse, domestic violence, suicide and mental issues
• Naked and Unashamed – Transparent ramblings of a singing, speaking and writing abuse survivor (This Blog)

Good Morning Dear Readers!

I hope some of you have had a chance to see Courageous the Movie, If so, please do share your thoughts under the review. I’ve a lovely treat for you this morning. Patricia Raybon is on Tour with Tywebbin Blog Tours promoting her two new books, One Year God’s Blessings and Bound for Glory. Patricia was gracious enough to answer a few interview questions for me. I must admit, that since I’ve been trying to write devotionals for about a year, I was hoping to learn what the magic formula might be. You see I’m either, going off on a tangent, too brief or too wordy when I attempt one, but I shall not give up and if that is an interest of yours as well, you should not either! Now for some words of wisdom and frankly the best interview I’ve done this year. Welcome Patricia Raybon!

Dee: How do you approach getting prepared to write a devotional? Do you have a ritual? (for e.g. fasting, meditation, blogging and then compiling [my personal method] etc.)

Patricia: I’d never written a devotional. My other published books are inspirational nonfiction. However, for my new book—a One Year devotional for Tyndale House-I spent serious time in Bible study. Then I prayed as I wrote, asking the Lord to show me what He wanted my readers to see and learn.

Dee: How did you begin writing Devotionals? (Is it your first love? Did you fall into it?)

Patricia: I’d written a few devotionals for Upper Room—but never an entire book of devotionals. However, while reading through the One Year Bible, I was surprised to discover how passionate God is for blessing His people. The other surprise to me was that blessings are conditional—tied to the way we live. So it’s true: God don’t bless mess! So I started studying those character traits that, in fact, God will bless. Then I wrote them down. Over time, I had enough to fill a book. I pitched the idea of a devotional on virtues to Tyndale House, which published my book on prayer, I Told the Mountain to Move,  and they gave me the green light. Then they assigned the project to their One Year brand. The result is my new devotional, the One Year God’s Great Blessings Devotional.  It’s a daily guide through  52 virtues that God blesses.

Dee: Do you often find that you start with one thought and end up writing another?  If yes, how do you stay focused?

Patricia: Yes, but that’s not always a bad thing. After a lifetime of professional writing, I know now that our writing “knows” where it is trying to take us. Our job as writers is to pay attention to the flow. So if you start out with one thought, but the subconscious sees a different path, follow it! As I tell my writing students, follow the writing. The true gold—the treasure you’re trying to find—gets discovered when you stop trying to control the writing and, instead, let it lead you to where you really need to go.

Dee: Thanks for that shot in the arm! (Note to self: Let your muse alone!)

So What makes writing a book a success for you? Resultant Introspection? The joy of Completion? Reader Reception? If all or none of the above, please explain.

Patricia: Great question.  To me, a successful book is one that changed my life because I wrote it—and now is changing the lives of people reading it. That’s the reaction I’ve received from all of my books so far. “Your book changed my life.” That reflects the extraordinary power of books to transform.  When I hear that from a reader, I know the book succeeded.

Dee: I heartily agree. Is there anything else you’d like to add?

Patricia: For aspiring writers reading this interview, keep at it. But prepare yourself to succeed. How? Take some writing classes. Read the best books on writing. Go to writing workshops. Create a writing space in your house or apartment, and set aside adequate time to write. This lets others know you’re serious about writing. Just as important, however, listen to criticism. Then apply it to your writing. Don’t aim to see your book in print. Aim to give the world something excellent to read. The world is dying for a great story. Work hard and your story might be the one the world needs most.

Patricia, thanks so much for your candid and helpful answers. I pray that your book will reach and touch the hearts of many!

About the Book:

About the Author:

Award-winning writer Patricia Raybon is author of two critically acclaimed books, “I Told the Mountain to Move” and “My First White Friend.” Her personal essays have appeared in the New York Times Magazine, Newsweek, USA Weekend, Charles Stanley Ministries’ In Touch Magazine and have also aired on National Public Radio. She writes full-time on life-changing faith. Visit Patricia’s Website at www.patriciaraybon.com.

Purchase the Book at your favorite online book seller:

• Alibris: Books, Music & Movies
• Amazon.com
• Barnes and Noble
• Book Depository (free shipping worldwide)
• Christian Book Distribution

Title: Courageous
Actors: Alex Kendrick, Kevin Downes, Kevin Bevel, Ben Davies and Robert Amaya
Director: Alex Kendrick
Movie Release Date: September 30, 2011
DVD not yet available

Synopsis:

Honor Begins at Home

Four men, one calling: To serve and protect. As law enforcement officers, Adam Mitchell, Nathan Hayes, David Thomson, and Shane Fuller are confident and focused. Yet at the end of the day, they face a challenge that none of them are truly prepared to tackle: fatherhood.

While they consistently give their best on the job, good enough seems to be all they can muster as dads. But they’re quickly discovering that their standard is missing the mark.

When tragedy hits home, these men are left wrestling with their hopes, their fears, their faith, and their fathering. Can a new found urgency help these dads draw closer to God … and to their children?

Filled with action-packed police drama, COURAGEOUS is the fourth film from Sherwood Pictures, the movie-making ministry of Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, Georgia. Riveted moviegoers will once again find themselves laughing, crying, and cheering as they are challenged and inspired by everyday heroes who long to be the kinds of dads that make a lifelong impact on their children.

Protecting the streets is second nature to these men. Raising their children in a God-honoring way? That’s courageous.

View the Trailer:

My Thoughts:

I saw this movie last night and the writers, directors and actors did an awesome job bringing it to life. With use of tender humor, touching despair, and manly man heroics it charges men to be or become the the spiritual head of their households God created them to be. By incorporating statistics and personal testimony of one of the lead characters, it brings home the fact that children in homes without fathers are more likely to end up on the wrong side of the law. This movie encourages and dares men to come back to the land of accountability, to do the uneasy, difficult and righteous thing–to stay and stand against all odds to be the fathers that their children need them to be. Fathers who find their M.O. in the Bible, fathers who build a foundation and set a standard to which their children may aspire. Being an okay dad…is no longer acceptable. Memorable character to look out for is “Javier” I LOVED him!

After the movie was over, there were men at the exits handing out flyers for the Courageous Men Bible Study program instituted by the men in the movie. All in all a well spent night for me…and you as well, go see this movie and buy it for your collection!

For more about the movie and the courageous dad program visit the movie website: http://www.courageousthemovie.com/

Title: The Liberating Truth: How Jesus Empowers Women
Author: Danielle Strickland
Publisher: Monarch Books (UK) / Kregel Publications (USA)
Release Date: August 31, 2011
Genre: Non-Fiction / Religion / Christian Life / Social Issues
Reviewed by: D.S. White

About the Book:

Women everywhere, despite the feminist movement, remain subjugated and constrained by cultural norms, all too often under girded by church practices that tell them to conform, hold back, and turn aside from God’s call upon their lives. The church and culture may restrict women, but Jesus empowered them, and Danielle call us to do the same.

My Thoughts:

I chose this book based on the title and the promise implied: truth, liberation and empowerment. In the back of my mind was the thought that it might have a feminist agenda, which I do back flips to avoid reading but I chose the book anyway.

As I read Danielle’s pain and frustration at situations experienced, personally and secondhand via the stories of women she encountered personally or read about was tangible. I can imagine that a life’s work of research and instituting programs to empower women while encountering the same stories of abuse, abandonment or neglect over and over again would engender the need to do something, say something to alert society to the silent unanswered cries of women all over the world.  Different women, different cultures, same abuse.

After reading, I can say there is truth in it with regards to abuse women suffer in and out of the church due to small minds, society turning a blind eye and inaccurate theology, however, I felt neither liberated nor empowered.

Despite that, there are some good points:

• The author’s love for God is clear and prevalent
• The book is a quick read
• The first half of the book gives lots of interesting statistics
• The back of the book gives brief biographies of many fascinating women
• This book is a good conversation starter referencing how we apply God’s principles in today’s society

I gave this book 2-1/2 mice

Since I disagree with much of the theology, I would be hesitant to recommend this book to others, especially a young Christian who has not had time be discipled.

About the Author:

Danielle Strickland is a Major in the Salvation Army in Canada. A gifted evangelist, she is widely sought after as a speaker. She and her husband, also a Salvation Army officer, have two young children. More about her can also be found on Wikipedia.

NOTE: This book was received from the Publisher, Kregel Publications, free of charge in exchange for an honest review.

WWW Wednesday is a weekly event hosted by Should Be Reading. To play along you just have to answer these three questions:

• What are you currently reading?
• What did you recently finish reading?
• What do you think you will start next?

MY ANSWERS:

	What are you currently reading? I’m currently reading Deliver Me: Hope, Help, & Healing through True Stories of Unplanned Pregnancy compiled by Dianne Butts. About the Book: She stares at the test strip, palms clammy, breathing uneven. She’s never felt more alone. Tears blur her vision. Panic edges in. An unplanned pregnancy can leave emotional wounds that take years to heal. The options are many: abortion, adoption, keeping the child. The questions are even more: How? Why? Where can you go for help? What do you do?
	What did you recently finish reading? I recently completed Inside Out by Grayson Cole. I love interracial romances so I got excited the moment I discovered this book was coming out via Sormag’sUpcoming Release email blast so I put it on my reminder list and purchased a kindle version as soon as it became available. It was a quick and enjoyable read and that’s all I’m going to say right now. You will have to check out my BookZone blog for the upcoming review.
	What do you think you’ll read next? I’m starting The Liberating Truth, How Jesus Empowers Women by Danielle Strickland which I received from Kregel Publication. It goes on tour September 26-30. I will be posting my review right here on DeeSWhite.com so stay tuned for it! About the Book: In short chapters full of memorable personal stories Danielle Strickland challenges us to take seriously our reading of the Gospels and the consequences of that reading. Strickland exposes the lie that debates regarding women’s positions in the church and in life are academic exercises conducted by theologians with no impact on the day-to-day lives of women and the lie that the debate is even about gender.

This post is a continuation/derivative of my 7 Things I’ve Learned While Blogging post over at The Water Cooler.  It was all one post but once I saw that I was about to go waaay left and change the purpose of the original post, I cut it short and here we are:

During a conversation some years ago, I was told that someone duplicating my work or misrepresenting my idea as his/hers was a true representation of how good my work or idea was and in essence, how good I am myself.  The egocentric optimist in me did a fist pump and shrieked, “Whoopie!”  For about one second then…screech!

Nahh…that’s my stuff, from my brain, my mind, my life experiences came up with that, how are you going to use it and try to soup me up by telling me how good I am?

Uhhh…by line, link, introductory paragraph, resource box or anything else that draws a big old arrow back to me is a much better proposition.  But, since I’m the non-confrontational type anyway, I figured, what are the odds that I’d write something that begged to be “borrowed” or have an idea or creation that someone would tweak and misrepresent as theirs?

It took six years between the original conversation above and now for me to have an encounter with plagiarism twice in one year, online and offline, here’s the online encounter:

Before Yahoo Personals died its scary death (some of the people on there could tweak Hannibal Lechter) I replied to a request for communication from a nice looking brother that we will call Krouton. (What? I just came off a 10 day fast, food is it right now.)

Krouton and I had several conversations and  were tooling along nicely until we got to the dreaded “meetup” negotiations. I believe a brother who is interested, should come to me. He believed, since he has a house with a spare bedroom I should go to him.

There were lots of “I don’t know you like that” and “would you advise your mother or sister to do this?” bottom line was…I was NOT going. Krouton pulled the “offended” card declaring I should trust him because he used to be a cop.  Current or used to be…Not buying it.  You’re retired at your age? Hmmm…sounds more like an F word that rhymes with retired to me. Anyway, since neither of us would budge, we came to an amicable parting of the ways.

About a month or so later, I finally got around to going through some of my old emails and noted an invitation from him on Facebook. Curious, I hopped on over to Facebook and clicked happily on the little accept button.  I began exploring his page and lo and behold, there was my introductory poem, tweaked to the male point of view, proudly displayed on his page.

I hunted through all the compliments and his responses to see if he gave credit where due at any point.  Nothing. Zip. Nada! I waited about 5 seconds then posted a comment about how great the tweaked poem was, but I’d missed the part where it stated that it was a derivative of my piece. Satisfied that I’d shown him.  I sat back and awaited a response.

I didn’t have to wait very long.

Krouton deleted me from his friend list and blocked my access to his Facebook page. I then reported it to Facebook, but we know how effective they are, don’t we? I was hacked and reported it to them, the end result, they deleted my first Facebook page.  I didn’t go on there again for a year. Personally I don’t see the pull besides networking.  People are on there inviting stalkers to arrive at their destinations before they do by listing their destinations every five minutes, but that is a rant for another night.

In retrospect, I didn’t follow my own advice in #5 of 7 Things I’ve Learned While Blogging. I didn’t sit on my response for a couple of days before I hit send. Had I waited I could have sent a message privately, but my ego was in high alt.  Of course, the brother deleted my access to his Facebook page (I would have too).

As I was about to sign, The End, a thought occurred to me. Everything that I am and do is ordained by and derived from God, but I don’t sign my books or written pieces, by G.O.D (God of D.S. White).

I’d really be in a bad place if He got ticked off one day and invoked His copyright infringement rights.  Was Krouton wrong for infringing on my rights? Heck yeah!  Was I right in pointing it out to him? Heck yeah! Was I right in trying to publicly humiliate him in asserting my rights? Heck No! Even when we are in the right, the manner in which we invoke or assert our rights should veer towards enforcing the spirit of the law, versus the letter of the law.

So again I say, please, please, please don’t plagiarize! Take the time to learn what fair use means and respect others’ virtual rights. If you are enraptured by someone’s content and would like to share, shoot them an email to request permission. Usually if you include a short bio and link back to their site or the original post, permission is granted. If not, maybe suggest a guest post of original content on your blog. If not, that happens. Thank them kindly and move on to someone who will give permission, or write your own post on the topic and give them some link love as the inspiration for your post.

Peace,

Hi Folks,

I’m actually at home writing this on a Sunday morning. Gasp! Yes, at home!  Due to Hurricane Irene our Senior Pastor and Elder Board opted to veer on the side of caution and close up shop today. I pray that if you are or have been in the path of Hurricane Irene that you and yours are faring well.

This is the second hurricane I’ve experienced  since I’ve been in the USA. The last one was in 1985 while I was pregnant with my daughter and living in New York. I remember being seated in the living room in front of the wide paned windows staring out at the branches of the trees as they bent and waved with each gust of wind wondering if they would actually snap and ultimately wondering where was my husband.  I still wonder that today, not if the branches will snap, but where is my ex-husband…lol.

Anyway, that is not the direction in which I’m going this morning, I’m going to keep it light and pose a question that I’ve wondered every since I was fourteen and first fell in love with the  game show called Family Feud. I just knew that one day I was going to be a guest on that show.  I even convinced my mom to buy me the board version of the game so I could practice for the big day and thought up numerous ways to avoid being kissed on the lips by Richard Dawson.

(As I type, my power has flickered 3 times in succession so I’m going for the short version.)

While the burning desire to get on Family Feud has given way to writing/publication and singing/demo my question still lingers:

Before each question the host starts off with the number of people surveyed (usually 100) and the top 4 – 7 answers are on the board. After rabid viewings I noticed something, it seemed like the people surveyed didn’t think like people where I lived in Prince George’s County, Maryland, but more like the people wHho lived in Montgomery County, Maryland.

Evenso, I’ve sat by my phone and waited for a survey call and it never rang! I’m now 46 and to date I have not received a phone call for a Family Feud survey.   So my lingering question is, who have they  been calling to survey for some of those answers we see go by? I know America’s population is huge but it’s been 32 years!  Have you ever received a call? Do you know anyone who has received a call?

Please share!

This post is dedicated to the voice behind the voice. No, I’m not talking about God this time, although she speaks on His behalf quite frequently and eloquently from her site, her books and newsletters.

The voice to which I refer is, Rachel Thomson, who I’m blessed to call my editor.  The well read and punctuated articles available for your consumption and hopefully edification were all whipped into shape by Rachel.

Rachel is so much more than an editor though. First and foremost she is a child of God who uses the arts to proclaim His beauty and majesty far and wide. She may be located in Canada, however, with her physical travels and the aid of the Internet her reach has expanded far past those physical parameters.

Ergo, my site based in America which you are reading from wherever you are. A lot of time people feel that payment in currency is enough. While necessary and sometimes ineffective if we attempt to use it to replace an agreed upon payment, thank you should never be omitted from our dealings with one another.

Thank you Rachel for all you do and the joyful and encouraging way in which you do it.

View Rachel in Trailer:

For more about Rachel check her out at:

• Website – www.rachelstarrthomson.com
• Twitter – @writerstarr
• Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rachel-Starr-Thomson/50337214466

Peace,

P.S. It would be cool to know the location of everyone who reads this post so roll call. Who’s present and where are you located?

Hi Folks,

Here I go again, claiming another blog in my network of blogs on Technorati.  To find out why I think it’s important that I do so, read my post here about the topic.

CYRS433VEJBA

Title: True North: Choosing God in the Frustrations of Life
Authors: Gary Heim and Lisa Heim
Publisher: Kregel Publications
Release Date: May 2, 2011
Genre: Non-Fiction / Religion / Christian Life
Reviewed by: D.S. White

About the Book:

Every day we face some kind of frustration: flat tires, flooded basements, wounding words, a broken body, a troubled marriage—trouble comes in all shapes and sizes and can happen when we least expect it. While everyone struggles, few people have learned to struggle well. But it’s not impossible!

Frustrations arise when we look to people and things of this world to fill our desires, rather than to the only One who can really satisfy us. True North offers a unique, biblical paradigm that gives understanding and help to turn to God in the frustrations of life. Frustration often causes us to “go south” and react in the flesh. We grumble and grasp. God calls us to “go north” and respond to hardship with wisdom and redemptive love. Combining biblical insight with personal stories, practical help, and compelling examples, authors Gary and Lisa Heim encourage readers to turn from self-centered grumbling and grasping to Christ-centered gratitude and giving. As they read stories of hardships and trials, successes and profits, readers will see how frustrations can actually help them grow in their personal lives, in their marriages, in their parenting, and in their ministries.

Believing that learning to live for God through all of life’s frustration is an intentional activity for every day, the Heims also provide discussion questions at the end of each chapter to help readers apply biblical truths to situations where frustrations loom. Perfect for use in ministry settings or as a handbook for personal growth, Truth North shows readers how to embark on the life-giving adventure of walking with God.

Read an Excerpt:

My Thoughts:

There is so  much that I love about this book, I don’t know where to start! You see I am the queen of frustration. There is so much in my life that frustrates me it’s pitiful. People don’t expect sold out Christians to say things like that–but it’s true. We understand the power of prayer, we understand that we should die to self daily, we understand that the DNA of Jesus the Christ enables us with all of His abilities, however, some days it seems as if we can’t even muster up the strength to act upon what we believe.

I have been a huge fan of Psychology since I took my first class at age nineteen and realized that understanding myself and my motivations gave me a way to handle my frustrations. Evenso, that alone is not enough and the authors break that down very clearly in the four parts of their book:

• Part One: You are Here
• 1- Life is Difficult,  2- Will You Go North or South? 3- Groaning: God’s passionate pursuit of your heart

• Part Two: Going South
•  4-Grumbling: The first sign you’re headed south, 5- Grasping: Your attempts to gain control

• Part Three: Going North
• 6- Grace: The power to turn north, 7- A Great Gift: The new identity we need, 8-Gratitude: The response to God’s love, 9- Giving: The fruit of a grateful heart

• Part Four: You-Turn
• 10-Getting It, 11- Growing It 12) Giving It Away: Mentoring Others

This book is an awesome combination of self-realization (by the authors), learned skills (psychology, compassion, love), teaching and spirituality. If you’re anything like me, you will start out reading at a clip and realize that this is a book to savor, learn and experience. As you begin to savor and learn (via the self examination/discussion questions after each chapter) you will cry buckets of tears, probably at the most inappropriate times, however, you will come out less frustrated and more at peace with yourself, the world around you and most importantly, a (new or ) renewed relationship with God.

The authors have done such a great job of covering all the bases. Men reject God and religion because they crave facts and operate via the intellect vs emotions. True North covers that. If you’ve ever heard T.D. Jakes preach a sermon, you wonder how a man can so clearly understand the heart of a woman? True North understands and addresses the nexus of our hurts. It forces you to name it (face it) and to see it for the lie that it is. True North shows the love of God and how His love works in our lives and how if it’s not working (frustration) it’s because of a choice we have made in our life. True North addresses taking responsibility for our choices, and convicts us to give up that entitlement spirit that is prevalent in this day and age. True North  acknowledges the imperfections, makes clear the choices North (God) and South (flesh) and gives great action steps teaching us to practice turning to God instead of groaning and grumbling.

True North challenges us to choose God no matter what. It makes it clear that although the choice is not an easy one, sticking to our choice and practicing doing so even in our rough times is rewarding. It also challenges us to go to the next level and to bring others along with us for the ride.

My Rating:
I unabashedly award this book a 5/5 rating.

My Recommendation:
This book accomplishes its purpose in a straightforward and gentle manner. I totally recommend it for small group discussions.  It is  low cost ($15.99) scripturally correct counseling–in a book!

About the Authors
Gary Heim is pastor of Small Groups and Discipleship at Blythefield Hills Church in Rockford, Michigan; an adjunct professor at Grand Rapids Theological Seminary; and a retreat and seminar speaker. He is a limited licensed psychologist in Michigan where he had a private counseling practice for over ten years and was a staff counselor for RBC Ministries. Married to Lisa for over twenty-five years with two college age children, Gary enjoys hunting, fly fishing, and backpacking.

Lisa Heim is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Michigan where she has had a private practice for the last twenty years. Lisa has been married to Gary for over twenty-five years and together they are the proud parents of two college-age children.  In her spare time Lisa enjoys reading, walking, kayaking, home decorating, and gardening.

NOTE: This book was received from the Publisher, Kregel Publications, free of charge in exchange for an honest review.

By Lisa Bloom,
Author of Think: Straight Talk For Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World

I went to a dinner party at a friend’s home last weekend, and met her five-year-old daughter for the first time.

Little Maya was all curly brown hair, doe-like dark eyes, and adorable in her shiny pink nightgown. I wanted to squeal, “Maya,  you’re so cute! Look at you! Turn around and model that pretty ruffled gown, you gorgeous thing!”

But I didn’t. I squelched myself. As I always bite my tongue when I meet little girls, restraining myself from my first impulse, which is to tell them how darn cute/ pretty/ beautiful/ well-dressed/ well-manicured/ well-coiffed they are.

What’s wrong with that? It’s our culture’s standard talking-to-little-girls icebreaker, isn’t it? And why not give them a sincere complement to boost their self-esteem? Because they are so darling I just want to burst when I meet them, honestly.

Hold that thought for just a moment.

This week ABC news reported that nearly half of all three- to six-year-old girls worry about being fat. In my book, Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World, I reveal that fifteen to eighteen percent of girls under twelve now wear mascara, eyeliner and lipstick regularly; eating disorders are up and self-esteem is down; and twenty-five percent of young American women would rather win America’s next top model than the Nobel Peace Prize. Even bright, successful college women  say they’d rather be hot than smart. A Miami mom just died from cosmetic surgery, leaving behind two teenagers. This keeps happening, and it breaks my heart.

Teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23. As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new normal, American women have become increasingly unhappy. What’s missing? A life of meaning, a life of ideas and reading books and being valued for our thoughts and accomplishments.

That’s why I force myself to talk to little girls as follows.

“Maya,” I said, crouching down at her level, looking into her eyes, “very nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” she said, in that trained, polite,talking-to-adults good girl voice.

“Hey, what are you reading?” I asked, a twinkle in my eyes. I love books. I’m nuts for them. I let that show.

Her eyes got bigger, and the practiced, polite facial expression gave way to genuine excitement over this topic. She paused,  though, a little shy of me, a stranger.

“I LOVE books,” I said.  “Do you?”

Most kids do.

“YES,” she said. “And I can read them all by myself now!”

“Wow, amazing!” I said. And it is, for a five year old. You go on with your bad self, Maya.

“What’s your favorite book?” I asked.

“I’ll go get it! Can I read it to you?”

Purplicious was Maya’s pick and a new one to me, as Maya snuggled next to me on the sofa and proudly read aloud every word,  about our heroine who loves pink but is tormented by a group of girls at school who only wear black. Alas, it was about girls and  what they wore, and how their wardrobe choices defined their identities. But after Maya closed the final page, I steered the  conversation to the deeper issues in the book: mean girls and peer pressure and not going along with the group. I told her my  favorite color in the world is green, because I love nature, and she was down with that.

Not once did we discuss clothes or hair or bodies or who was pretty. It’s surprising how hard it is to stay away from those topics with little girls, but I’m stubborn.

I told her that I’d just written a book, and that I hoped she’d write one too one day. She was fairly psyched about that idea. We were both sad when Maya had to go to bed, but I told her next time to choose another book and we’d read it and talk about it. Oops. That got her too amped up to sleep, and she came down from her bedroom a few times, all jazzed up.

So, one tiny bit of opposition to a culture that sends all the wrong messages to our girls. One tiny nudge towards valuing female  brains. One brief moment of intentional role modeling. Will my few minutes with Maya change our multibillion dollar beauty industry, reality shows that demean women, our celebrity-manic culture? No. But I did change Maya’s perspective for at least that evening.

Try this the next time you meet a little girl. She may be surprised and unsure at first, because few ask her about her mind, but be patient and stick with it. Ask her what she’s reading. What she like and dislike, and why? There are no wrong answers. You’re just generating an intelligent conversation that respects her brain. For older girls, ask her about current events issues: pollution, wars, school budgets slashed. What bothers her out there in the world? How would she fix it if she had a magic wand? You may get some intriguing answers. Tell her about your ideas and accomplishments and your favorite books. Model for her what a thinking woman says and does.

And let me know the response you get at www.Twitter.com/lisabloom.

Here’s to changing the world, one little girl at a time.

© 2011 Lisa Bloom, author of Think: Straight Talk For Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World

Author Bio

Lisa Bloom, author of Think: Straight Talk for Women to  Stay Smart in a Dumbed Down World, is an award-winning journalist, legal analyst, trial attorney, and the daughter of renowned women’s rights attorney, Gloria Allred.

A daily fixture on American television for the last decade, Bloom is currently the CBS News legal analyst, appearing frequently on The Early Show and CBS Evening News with Katie Couric, as well as the legal analyst for The Dr. Phil Show. Bloom appears regularly on CNN and HLN prime time shows such as Issues With Jane Velez-Mitchell, The Joy Behar Show, Anderson Cooper 360, and The Situation Room.  She has been featured on Oprah, Nightline, Today, Good Morning America, Rachael Ray, and many more, and she was a nightly panelist on The Insider throughout 2010. From 2001-2009, Bloom hosted her own daily, live, national show on Court TV, and  she has guest-hosted Larry King Live, The Early Show, and Showbiz Tonight.

Bloom has written numerous popular and scholarly articles for the Los Angeles Times, Family Circle, the National Law Journal, CNN.com, the Daily Beast, and many more. She has also been profiled, featured, and quoted in hundreds of publications, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, Elle, Ladies’ Home Journal, and Variety.

Bloom graduated early and Phi Beta Kappa from UCLA, where she was national college debate champion, and then from the Yale Law School, where she won the moot court competition. She currently lives in Los Angeles where she runs her law firm, The  Bloom Firm. TheWrap.com recently named Bloom one of the top five celebrity attorneys in Los Angeles.

For more information please visit http://think.tv/ and follow the author on Facebook and Twitter

Hi Folks,

I interrupt life in bookland to advise of a SCAM letter I received today.  It was was addressed properly with my full name, address and apartment number, there was however no return address and a stamp instead of professionally metered postage. (Clue #1)

The letter reads as follows:

American Consumer Opinion Customer Evaluation
851 Queens St., Niagara Falls
ON L2E 6S8

REP.ID #:ACO/3175

June 20, 2011

Attention; DIANE STAFFORD (improper punctuation – Clue #2)

Congratulation!!! You have been selected to participate in a paid Consumer Research Program. As one of the people selected to represent our firm; you will be acting as a Customer service Evaluator of selected Companies in your area. All participants in this program were selected from amongst people who responded to our online survey indicating interest in participating in our research program.

American Consumer Opinion is an employment firm that specializes in conducting research and assist Corporations to evaluate the quality of customer service provided to their customers. We represent over 1,180 research firms across North America. Our research methods have been well acclaimed and proven to be most effective in North America and Europe. The successes we have recorded over the years are due to the methodology we utilized known as “secret shopping”.

Please call Mr. Alex West at 1-647-885-7340 upon receipt of this letter and he will assist you if needed. Your job description is to act as a customer in one or more of the outlet stores listed below. You will evaluate the effectiveness and efficiency of the customer service provided by the outlet. Pay attention to the quality of service in order to fill out a fair and unbiased opinion on the Customer Service Evaluation Form (C S E F) enclosed in the letter and Fax the form and receipts when completed.

Note: Enclosed is a Check for $1,996.00 to assist you with your assignment. It is Imperative that upon receipt of this Check, you contact Mr. ALEX for activation. Failure to do so will result in automatic disqualification of your assignment.

CASH WITDRAWAL $1,696.00 Your Survey payment is $300; keep that in your account.
Details for the disbursement of enclosed funds.

$300—YOU’RE PAYMENT. Pay rate increases to $400 after completion of first assignment
$50.00—FOR YOUR SHOPPING AT WAL-MART. KEEP THE ITEMS, Receipt required
$1,500—SURVEY FOR WESTERN UNION. Receipt required
$96.00—TO PAY FOR WESTERN UNION service charge fee.
$1,996.00—TOTAL

Please note that due to the confidentiality agreement we ahve with our clients. You are required not to comment or discuss your assignm;ent with the staff in the store or at the BAnk as it may jeopardize our set out Goal and Business code of conduct.

Thank you for your Co-0peration. We look forward to eharing from you soon.

Sincerely,

(Signature is all faded, looks like Grant Path)

So…I called up and spoke to Mr. ALEX (with the heavy African accent – Clue #3). When I asked how do I test Western Union (because that one didn’t make sense to me) he advised that people were complaining about not receiving funds so I would be hooked up with another secret shopper to whom I would wire the funds, but that person was not yet assigned.  I need to go to the bank and deposit the check and call him back as soon as I do that. When I asked him where he got my name and address, he told me that when I shop and the clerk asks for my phone number…my name is pulled from that source.  (Big lie…I shop online.)

So…I google and look up KONE SERVICES INC., P.O> Box 30077, College Station, Texas 77842 (the name and address of the party who wrote the check) and nothing came up.  I figured the bank really exists so I didn’t waste time looking it up.  I then looked up AMERICAN CONSUMER OPINION CUSTOMER EVALUATION and came across several links (one being SCAM.com) and there was a very cohesive lay out of the scam and very good advice to spot scams online by one Meri Widow:

100% scam.Mystery shopping companies never, ever send out checks for any reason.Check is fake.Scammer will demand you deposit check and withdraw cash and send it to him (using another of his fake names) via Western Union while pretending that you are suppose to evaluate the WU clerk.

You could post up the street addresses mentioned, any phone numbers given, any email address listed and the emails themselves that the scammer is using, it will help make your post more googlable for other suspicious potential victims to find when looking for information. If you have a scanner, you could scan the letter and post here or upload it to an electronic storage site and post the link. Then, ignore that scammer. Don’t bother to tell him that you know he is a scammer, it isn’t worth your effort. He has one job in life, convincing victims to send him their hard-earned cash.

5 “Rules to follow” to avoid most fake jobs:
1) Job asks to use your personal bank account and/or open a new one.
2) Job asks you to print/mail/cash a check or money order.
3) Job asks you to use Western Union or moneygram in any capacity.
4) Job asks you to accept packages and re-ship them on to anyone.
5) Job asks you to pay visas, immigration, travel fees, expenses in cash via Western Union or moneygram.

Avoiding all jobs that mention any of the above listed ‘red flags’ and you will miss nearly all fake jobs. Only scammers ask you to do any of the above. No. Exceptions. Ever. For any reason.

Western Union and moneygram do not verify anything on the form the sender fills out, not the name, not the street address, not the country, not even the gender of the receiver, it all means absolutely nothing. The clerk will simply hand off your cash to whomever walks in the door with the MTCN# and question/answer. Neither company will tell the sender who picked up the cash, at what location or even in what country your money walked out the door. Neither company has any kind of refund policy, money sent is money gone forever.

As you know, whenever suspicious or just plain curious, google everything, website addresses, names used, companies mentioned, phone numbers given, all email addresses, even sentences from the emails as you might be unpleasantly surprised at what you find already posted online. You can also post/ask here and every scam-warner-anti-fraud-busting site you can find before taking a chance and losing money to a scammer.

Hope the above prevents you and yours from being scammed.

Peace,
Dee

DeeSWhite.com welcomes Tywebbin Blog Tour of The Revelation Gate by Brian Thompson

About the Book:

After 800 years of oppression, the Uché abandon all hope of liberation – until a boy with unbreakable bones emerges from the wilderness. . .

For centuries, Uché seers foretold the birth of a deliverer called Mkombozi – one fated to enter The Revelation Gate and lead them to freedom.

Knowing this, the king of the barbarous Otī does his best to eliminate the lone threat to his dominion. When his best efforts fail, he allies himself with a self-proclaimed emperor who reveals the true natures of The Revelation Gate and the Uché hero.

Meanwhile, as Mkombozi’s mother wavers between feelings of abandonment and crises of faith, her people ready themselves to wage an unwinnable war – minus faith in their deliverer, whose fate ushers him to an uncertain destination.

Merging elements of political intrigue and social class relations together in an allegorical, character-driven plot, The Revelation Gate confronts issues of doubt, star-crossed love, and the power of the individual.

About the Author

Brian L. Thompson, Great Nation Publishing’s President/Owner and author of The Lost Testament, is a licensed educator, and former professional journalist.

He showed an early interest in classical literature and the arts, particularly after his poem, “Black Sunday,” received an honorable mention in Gwynedd-Mercy College’s literary contest for high school students in 1993.

A 1994 North Penn High School graduate, he continued his education at Morehouse College in Atlanta. While there, Thompson wrote for the Maroon Tiger newspaper; moving up the ranks from staff writer, to Sports Editor, and finally to Editor-in Chief.

After earning his Bachelor’s of Arts Degree in English in 1998, he transitioned to a staff writer position at Montgomery Newspapers.

In 2000, his second as a professional journalist, he returned to the field of academics at Temple University, earning a Master’s Degree in secondary education in 2001.

Thompson then turned to education at West Charlotte High and Newton High schools respectively while simultaneously researching and writing his first Christian fiction novel, The Lost Testament – a project self-described as a “faith-based tale with every day characters engaged in a thrilling plot.”

During this time, he also helped edit author Sabra Robinson’s anthology of inspirational stories entitled The Lost Sheep: How I Got (And AM Still Getting) Over the Hump – A Personal Account of God’s Restoration After Doubting His Purpose, the Church, and Human Existence.

He and his family reside in Georgia. Visit Brian at http://www.brianlthompson.co/

Purchase the Book Online at:

http://www.brianlthompson.co/Books.html

For More Information

Visit the author at http://www.greatnationpublishing.com

Visit blog tour schedule at http://bit.ly/TheRevelationGate